Born in a Christian home? I guess that’s what you can call it. I grew up going to church with my sister and grandparents while my mom and dad stayed home to watch NASCAR. They were believers; they were just lazy I guess.
I was baptized twice in my life and my church was my second family, my safe house, somewhere I could go to when I was down. I was a very good child I suppose, no cussing, drugs, drinking. But that was from age 12 and down, when my dad and I were close. I’m still not sure what happened to me, maybe peer pressure? Or wanting attention?
At about the age of 13, good people were leaving my church and I starting thinking of it as a fun house, a place to hang out with friends. At school, I did my work but after school I would go with friends into their basements or backyards and play “Truth or Dare,” flashing them, kissing them. I’m not proud of it. I felt like I was starting to “grow up” and didn’t want to hang out with my dad; we grew farther and farther apart. We used to go to my basketball and softball games together, go fishing and just go for rides. After I started changing, I felt like none of that was important anymore. So it ended.
When middle school came along, all I thought about “boys, boys, and boys” and how I looked. I met the wrong crowd and my church completely fell apart all at the same time. A new pastor came in and fired our youth leader and her husband. The people at the church were calling me a “pot-head” when I never smoked. Eventually everyone left. My life started going downhill. Swear words were coming out of my mouth every two minutes and that’s not even the worst part.
I met a guy who I thought was my world. We were dating (he was older) and I let him do whatever he wanted with me after only a month of dating. Then he started lying to me and we went through many months of ugly drama. I started cutting myself, leaving cuts down my arms and legs. Eventually drinking was my game, then cigarettes, weed, legal weed, popping pills and parties every night, even though I was underage. Then I couldn’t remember how I got paint on my pants and a knot on my head. I’d smoke weed before school to make it “funner.” I’d wake up in the mornings dry heaving and puking out of windows. Sounds fun huh? I’d steal and cheat on my boyfriend. I was lying to my parents just to get $5 for cigarettes.
Then I started to realize the way I was living wasn’t good; I was with the devil. My boyfriend came home and I told him everything; I lost his trust but decided we needed to go to church. I started going again and everyone was so nice and I felt wanted. My boyfriend accepted Christ and I knew right then and there life was going to be different. It was time to become the Christian I was meant to be. I stopped smoking, drinking, pills, and weed. I’m gaining my boyfriend’s trust back more and more everyday now. We even see a future a long way ahead for us. I go to church every Sunday and Wednesday to learn more about Christ than I already knew. Ever since then God has been doing great things in me and my family. My dad and I are getting closer by the day. My boyfriend and I are going strong for 16 months now. In-love we are indeed. We’re not the same people we used to be. God has changed us for the better. And I want to thank everyone at First Grace for being there for me and actually caring.